Solving Problems



Deck: Hanson-Roberts
Question: How can I improve my relationship with my husband? Lately it seems we have been having a lot of arguments, and I think it started when we first discussed having a baby, but I'm not really sure what this is really about.

Spread: The three cards in this spread are a Thought-Word-Deed spread that provide approaches that you can use at different levels of your relationship to improve the situation.


Card 1 - Thought: Three of Rods. This card represents the establishment of a successful enterprise, the creation of a third entity (marriage) from two individual spirits. This is a hopeful card, and suggests that you should think of this situation as one that, if you can resolve it, will bring your marriage onto firmer ground and expand its potential beyond what you had before. The relationship of the third rod to pregnancy is an interesting idea, and suggests that this is one area where the two of you need to work together to resolve issues.  The third rod may also suggest that you need a third person, such as a counselor, to help you through this.  The theme of travel over water in this card coupled with its position as the Thought card suggests that the two of you have some traveling through your emotional landscape to do (hopefully in a well-made boat!!). This card, along with the fact that two of your three cards are upright, suggests to me that the situation can be righted and is not heading for an end. If the two of you both have the dedication and maturity represented by this card, and the willingness to grasp the rod (representing your commitment to the marriage) you will make it through this difficult period.

Card 2 - Word: Four of Swords, reversed. This suggests that you have been holding your thoughts inside, afraid to say what you need to say and afraid to make the situation worse. This card counsels the need to end your period of isolation and speak your mind, after careful preparation and consideration of what you truly want to say. You may be making the situation worse just by staying silent and keeping your feelings inside.  Whatever you do say should be said with love. Just what you told me you love your husband, you don't want a divorce, and you are willing to do the work to solve your problems - could be very healing for both of you. This card shows that between the two of you, it is your words, not your thoughts or actions, that have been the most harmful and where the energy is most blocked.  In some ways this is good, because words are much more transitory than thoughts or actions, and this block can be easily overcome.  There are swords here, so speaking in a safe place, such as with a counselor, could be one way to make sure you use these swords to find the truth without hurting each other.

Care 3 - Deed: Page of Cups. This suggests a renewal of the relationship is possible, and can be brought about by returning in your actions to the early days of your marriage, when you were very in love and every day was a new joy. Surprise him with loving acts of kindness and whatever spontaneous things you know he enjoys.  You could both try to consciously set aside your differences for a while and live life in the moment, maybe even pretend you are first dating, and have a little fun for a change. Give yourselves permission to act like a kid for a day, and throw off your worries and responsibilities. This may remind you what it is that you love about each other, and what you would be giving up by divorcing. Sometimes things get negative for a while and it's hard to remember but it's in there, just waiting to be let out. This card also has a "love child" theme, which may be another allusion to the pregnancy issue.  If that's when you think this problem started, then it is definitely important to get to the bottom of that message.


Illustrations from Universal Waite, Hanson-Roberts, Spiral, Ancestral Path, Herbal, Dragon, Halloween, Russian Tarot of  St. Petersburg, Medieval Scapini, Crow's Magick and Tarot of Ceremonial Magick tarot decks reproduced by permission of US Games Systems Inc. Copyrights © 1990, 1998, 1999, 1996, 1990, 1996, 1996, 1996, 1985, 1998, 1995 respectively by US Games Systems, Stamford, CT.

Wheel of Change tarot cards © 1997 Alexandra Genetti


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